At 2:32 PM on
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Haha. Okay. I know, I know. It's crazy. But I am blogging this 5 minutes after the previous entry. That stupid buddy of mine! Argh. Why must he go away? Making me super sad. We are like part of each other's day and night and even in between day and night.. someone to wake up with me, walk through lunch with me, keep me awake in the lazy afternoons, cheer me up in the sombre evenings, spicing up my silent nights, and even through out the early mornings- depriving me of sleep la. And he is not here now! :(
Come back, buddy! I miss you so much already. Told you I wont be able to go through this. I might as well throw away my phone, man. Who is going to make me laugh? Who is going to scare me now? Tell me about Samara? Who is going to slap my nose, smack my cheek, whack my forehead and bite my ears? Who will wake me up at 3am just to let me hear my favorite song? Who will play scissors paper stone with me? Come back, apek. I miss you. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 1:47 PM on
4pm, 29th March. Wasn't I yakking about how happy I would be at this time, because it meant the unleash of total freedom for at least two months? Wasn't I? The last paper.. I ended it at 3.40pm. And proceeded home. The end of the last paper... but the journey home was one of the most painfully loneliest and silent one that I have ever known. No afi to celebrate it with. Buddies did their paper and went home as well.. I guess, eager to begin their holidays. 12.38pm.. the last sms.. only 4 hours passed and I feel emptied.. Yeah, of course I can survive.. but I cannot survive happily.. not without my right-hand man gone.
Strange dreams. Two dreams. Within 24 hours. The first.. strangely.. I dreamt of.. the bastard. That was strange la. Really.. a waste of my nightly entertainment. Looking at his open-pored face. Haiyah. Anyway, the dream was about me stumbling onto his blog? I remember it had this dark red background.. and there was this picture of his and her eyes. *shudders* I cant believe I remember this crap. So, it was about them.. and I remember there was this one entry where he said he dedicated it to her. And then there was something he typed about me which is false la. So then I called.. and funnily, we became friends.. after I told him to stop fucking trying to save his own face by spreading stories about me.
Dream part II. About that apek la. In my dream.. he was sitting at his workdesk, reading a stack of new PC magazines. There was this white glow about him. Something I have never seen. And when I talked to him, he responded, but I didnt see his lips move.. I only see him smiling at me.
And then I asked him, "Do you really have to go? Can you just stay?" Then I woke up.
:( Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 12:46 PM on
Sunday, March 27, 2005
The path that I always took alone
Is now showered with memories
Of you
Because you wanted to walk
the same path I chose
to walk on
And so we did
We walked
We laughed
We teased
And I love the way you remember
I love the way you
choose to be here for me
I almost wished you never existed
But if you hadnt
I wouldnt have known
Such wholesome goodness
:)
The love of friendship. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 5:03 AM on
Blogging this about 10minutes after putting down the phone with my buddy. I dont understand.. sometimes I feel there is some sort of sadness within him. But I so want to believe there isnt. Like when I looked at his face on Thursday, I saw the fatigue of Life. Not just work.. like there is more to it. Or am I just thinking a bit too much? Like he called at 2 am, on his way home.. and the moment he started talking.. I felt something was just off. Like he is upset because he was disappointed? That there was something he wished to achieve but could not get? Which he refused to admit and adamantly argued that he is ok and that he is just over-rested. I asked from time to time, but I let go in the end because if there was something that was bothering him that he wanted to share with me, then he would have. Then again.. I find this side of him more.. appealingly real.
Haha. Some people think that I have turned my blog into quite an online diary. I dont really care about what people say anymore. Because the truth is within me. And as long as I believe in the truth, who cares if 32904823043 people say it is not? Plus, people hardly read what I write anyway. :)
..........
There is something about you now that I cant quite figure out. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 1:45 AM on
Two songs made me understand deeper the breakdown of any relationship. The inability to adapt to change, the inability to compromise on that change, the inability to actually sit down and talk without screaming your head off over that change, that goal you had set together as a couple for the coming future. And when I say the inability, I mean the absence of effort to try negotiating any sort of discussion.
The two songs? Keane's Everybody's Changing and Jet's Look What You've Done. When I hear those songs, I am completely reminded of that sick bastard. And then I realise, he is the total loser. It makes me sad though, when I think of unrequited efforts. Coz Life is love and Love is very special... but..
A chat with a new found friend, Din, made me realise something. I have always stood by this; love is bittersweet. But then he told me.. love isnt bittersweet. Love was, is and will always be sweet. When two people argue or get into a disagreement, love takes a backseat and anger takes over. When there is sadness, there is no love. When there is the anger, love isnt there. Just the fiery emotions and two egos at loggerheads. And there, its a tossup between Love and all the other emotions. In good circumstances, Love wins. In others... where breakup occurs, Love lost.
Food for thought.
:)
Hehe. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 2:26 PM on
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Okay. First time.. first time.. there is a first time for everything.. and I did it! Oh gosh. I fell asleep on Mr Mocha!! ArgghhHhH! So paiseh like shit. Like so comfortable and I fell asleep. And when I woke up, I couldnt remember a single thing. *paisey* :/ Anyway, that bugger is just so.. surprising la. He woke me up at about 3.07am to let me hear my favourite song that I cannot just get to download. Kerayzzziieee.
Will I ever? Haha. Crunch Time has begun. Two more poignant days to get over. Special education and policies. Arh.. such papers for a society rebel. Gosh, so inappropriate.
:)
I almost wished you aint here with me. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 7:40 PM on
Friday, March 25, 2005
Haha. Mr Mocha is going overseas at the end of the year to take his honors in Australia. My heart dipped for sometime when he told me that. But I cheered up and congratulate him on his decision. See, I told you. Got the feeling that he is going to go away sometime. But there is still time of course, if he lets me, to continue harassing him til he has to go away... But when he comes back, I hope I still have the same apek who will smack my nose.. drink mocha rhumba with me.. scare me... make my elbow slip from the table.. and tickle my ear with a twig.. *sobs*
Ketuk! Whoa.... these days the photoshops outside really smack the heads of customers, man.. I wanted to laminate something that is just the size of a postcard and I have to pay a freaking 3 dollars man! Argh. I shall just do it in school then. I think soon everyone on Earth will have to start paying for breathing in the oxygen around us. Reason? Preciousness. Yeah, so the standard of living is higher now, so I guess they are putting the nooses on our necks from a higher pole too. Ridiculousism.
:)
Friends forever. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 8:31 AM on
Hours. The way that we bicker and argue can set the world on fire. When we argue, the world around no longer seem to matter. In fact, it was as if there was only me and him. The funny thing was that, from the messages to the phone conversations to real life conversations, our bickerings remain constant. It was funny la. We spent the whole evening and night, sitting at a cafe- our favourite.. and just talk.. wait, argue. And then something happened. His friend who had joined us for a while, wanted him to pass my number to him- in short, to get to know me la. I was stunned.. I dont exactly know how to respond to that. So I said, "I don't need two people harassing me." And then I kept quiet. Maybe, he got the point. I mean really, if I agree, I will one walking thirsty woman. After spening nearly 5 hours outside, that apek called me and we talked til nearly 3am. If I were to talk to the friend after that, I will be like some telephone operator. I dont want that. And plus, misunderstandings might arise. So, I thought might as well just disagree from the start. I dont know. Am I doing the right thing?
:)
Still, you are my all-day memory. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 8:00 PM on
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Staying cool in spite of the torrents of nonsense
Love,Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 7:59 PM on
A well-deserved treat after the brain wrecking Field Practicum Supervision.
Love,Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 6:40 PM on
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
In love, I am not. With this irritating pest? No way. We hate each other too much. Plus, enemies dont fall in lurrrve. He is just being a fabulous irritant he just needs to stick around. And it is his dad's birthday but the slacko is only getting a shirt and treating his dad to dinner. Last minute planning.. duh!
DPIP. Developing blah blah blah and a ra ta ta ta~ See. Jaded already. Even the mere mention of it makes me want to pee. Hehe. I cannot wait for that very moment in Time. 4pm at 29th March 2005. Freedom awaits! Yes ar! No more buttheads, no more pretense to put up with.
Yes ar!
:)
Maybe it is temporary.
But it makes me smile still. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 2:17 AM on
At the library. It was so funny. How you and me tried to find each other through peeking through the holes in the bookshelves. And looked away when we caught each other's eyes. Argh! I dont ever wanna lose you, buddy. I wish I can freeze all these times that we share, trying to knock each other's heads off but still show concern at the same time. Amazing. I know I said.. even if you go.. I will still be happy that you were once part of my Life.. once a really great friend.. but when and if you do go.. I seriously will be the saddest person around. It would break my heart more than all my breakups and life crises combined. You are just.. amazing.
Spongebob. I love love love love love love love love love lovvvvvvvvveeee the movie!!!! Me and this guy sitting beside me on the right were so noisy, laughing the loudest. It is so lame and silly, but very entertainingly so. Hehe. I likeeee!!!! I give it 11 out of 10 bites!!!
Let me tell you how I feel
From the moment that I met you
It's so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat
Everytime we speak
I cant believe
I feel so weak
:)
U make it complete. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 11:56 AM on
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Madness. Yesterday was quite embarassing.. because I started laughing by myself at the library. Me and that stupid Apek had this trivia thing going on- he asked me what Zorro's horse's name is. So I called up every guy friend I know to ask.. because I simply had no idea. And then I ended up with this name Parcus. For a horse. So I gave the answer to the Apek. It was wrong, apparently.. and he laughed and laughed at me in his sms reply and his sms was so funny- and add that to my embarassment at getting the wrong answer, I started laughing in the library. People looked at me as though I was mad. Argh!
Movie break. Finally, a break from the hecticness of school. And all its craziness. Oh gosh. Im watching my favourite cartoon today with my sister at the movies. Yes yes yes. Guess guess... "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"... Yes.. Spongebob Squarepants The Movie! Hee hee. Yeah it is a silly show. So, all the more I love it~. Oh, which reminds me. I am being dared to watch Eye10 by a chipmunk who sells vegetables under his block. Argh! Everyone knows how much I hate watching horror movies- even though they are more lame than scary these days. Watching Eye10 is supposedly like.. a way to "get over the phobia". And stupidly, losing the trivia also meant watching Eye10. Damn! :(
:) Bring a fairytale my way. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 12:53 PM on
Monday, March 21, 2005
21st March 2005. Today is officially Enemies Day for the apek and me. The intensification of the battle of wits- where obviously there will be no winner, because nobody wants to admit defeat. Ehem. The oddest thing happened last night. After a few good days of no verbal contact, me and the bugger of all buggers talked on the phone for a good 5 hours plus. I was so shocked when I looked at the time. "5.24am! Argh!" So now, my consciousness is hanging in the middle of nowhere. Boo!
In the library. I hate using computers in the library. Because there are 83742847623 strangers who cannot keep their eyes to themselves stare at other people's computer screens, walking around seemingly important. Like some sort of officials or retired policemen with nothing better to do. To them, get LOST, get away from wherever you are. Thank you~.
Lunch Time. Okay. Enough yakking here. Time to feed the want-to-be-fed.
Oh...
Happy Enemies Day to U!
Happy Enemies Day to U!
Happy Enemies Day to ApeK!
Happy Enemies Day to U!
May we be enemies always. :) Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 5:55 PM on
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Missed. Apparently my handphone did me great disservice last night. One of my best buddies actually waited outside my house for like 20 minutes. She had come over to meet me because she missed me. So sweet right? :) But my stupid handphone had died earlier so I couldnt tell if she was there or not or what. Stupid hp. Died at the wrong time. Boo!
World without you. Haha. Yes apek, I cannot live with you as my buddy. Who else can give me that countless insults and then care for me at the same time? So funny lah this boy. I love you so much as a friend, apek! He said he saw this series of colorful bands that Giordano is selling as a charity thing for the needy children. He wanted to get the blue one that says "friends" for my birthday and he wants to get the grey one that says "forever". The term "friends forever" is like such an oldie goldie phrase man. I have not heard that phrase for like... forever? Hehe. Crazy la this apek.
My thanks. A lot of people had given their hands to my battle- Field Practicum 2.1. Seriously, I am deeply moved by each one of them. I dont know if I had said this before.. but I want to reiterate my thanks to them once again. Without them, I would have struggled more and probably die along the way.
Edwina - This girl worked with me to find resources for the learning centres. Without her assistance... gosh, I dont even know what to say man! Thanks girl! And for all the ciabbata breaks. Fuhhh! :)
Gillian - Well, she wont read this anyway. But I also want to say thanks for passing me the materials for my learning centre. The additional stuffs really helped. Thanks!
Rossy - This guy. Whoa! So freaking unselfishly helpful! Helped me make my materials til a good 2am. And did not even complain once. Thanks dude. I will remember that for Life dude!
Teacher Yati - The endless advices... moral support and encouragement.. and helping me to get a digital camera! Thanks thanks so much!!~
And the many others.. like Harv.. who gave me endless words of encouragement. To her also, all the unnecessary squabbles are over, babe. Exams over, let's party hard!!!
:)
And to you. For sending me endless rushes of adrenaline, pumping my energy and sending my motivation into senseless overdrives. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 9:33 PM on
Friday, March 18, 2005
You. Increasingly, it is getting harder to get away from you. You are just there. Plainly there for me to see. But I know that although I may have the resources, I can only buy you, but never really own you. And that is just so sad but I learn to be satisfied and to be accept whatever that comes. And now you may even be going away, which makes me sink even deeper. But Life has taught me so much that I have learnt to accept that what you have is not always here to stay. It can be taken away anytime. But at least, I am grateful for your presence. And when you do go and I can do nothing about it, at the very least, I can be satisfied that something of your wholesome goodness passed through my way for a while. And you are my motivation. Even without your physical presence, your existence itself makes me different than I was yesterday.
:) Do stay. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 9:51 PM on
Thursday, March 17, 2005
What U & I Spoke Of...
Amazing. Only he can understand and take my flow of creative juices and play around with them, and sends a counterattack my way. And the counterattacks are good enough to be reused back against him. The attacks are brutal, cold, hostile, insulting and at very rare times.. sweet. However, both of us like it that way. And I think I very much prefer it that way too. Well, most know what it is really like in this heart of mine... but I will not allow anything to smear our picture-perfect buddyhood. Annaism and His-ism.
Amazing Quarter. Had my lecture today- there was the presentation. Which, of course, nobody but the Quarter paid much attention to it. Escaped for a while here and there to my breakfast-lunch-dinner and of course, the coldness in the lecture theatre. Eeeek!
Amazingness. I bought myself a pretty red flower to celebrate the end of the portfolio-ism. I cannot do a thing now except staring at it staring back at me in its beautiful quiet serenity. Red petals... and the inside... black and orange rims.. Gorgeous.
:) Please. Bite my ear again. I liked it. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 9:13 AM on
I am strong. Sometimes a little strong to even be human. Issues bounce off me like sunlight's reflection on a clear glass mirror. But if one is slapped with issues almost everyday.. wait... everyday.. and if it involves people you love having to surround you... human-ness returns. I hate it when people flame me for no good reason, or the reason is just plain selfish or lame. Here I am, bothering nobody, minding my own business, making more friends and out there, people are happily flaming me. Even freaking strangers.
People call me names... just because I am making more friends. I didnt know there was such a logic- like the more male friends you have, the sluttier you are.. but the more female friends you have, the more likely you are to be lesbian. My verdict: such people can fuck off. Friends are friends. And a friend can only know another friend. The world that's looking on... their comments are completely unneeded.
I am all about them words... over numbers.. unencumbered words.. pages of them.. that is why words can make my day or break my heart. Body Language, Tonal thingys aside... if someone say "you are such a beautiful lady".. you would be happy right? How would it feel like when someone say "you are a slut".. or .."you are a son of a *****".
It is when you strive to be happy and contented, the storm comes happily along to sweep you off your feet.
Mr Anonymous. Our similarities are strikingly familiar. And now that I think back, it's also strikingly scary. What if the state we both are separately in now, stem from similiar pain? But when I think of your wholesome goodness, I think happiness is deservedly yours. And maybe this is why buddyhood is the only answer for us. There is just too much drama and bad karma in my Life.
:) At least, I still have a reason. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 2:40 AM on
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Silence is the best way to solve everything.
Keeping quiet.
Killing the humor.
Putting everything on a landslide.
Silence saves a person from everything.
Slander, accusations, tragedies, etc.
Because without words,
there are no evidences.
Without evidences,
there cannot be false truths.
Without all of these crap,
there wont be any high-tension dramas. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 8:07 AM on
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Strangest combination of dreams ever. I cant even describe this. It's too .... weird. And I woke up feeling like a piece of metal. Heavy and unmoving. I woke up to a few realizations too. Loads of implications.
Agendas, agendas. Since something cropped up in the morning, looks like I am staying home half the day to try to finish up my work. Argh. So much tension flying around, over what, I don't know it myself. It gets to the point where I think it is really crap because there really isnt anything to be so tensed up about, except maybe the exams. This, being the last week of the semester, better stay clean and good. Any other tensed moments, I will not entertain. Seriously. I am not letting anything bad get to me, or my happily pumping heart.
Rereads. When I re read my past entries, it seems that I dedicate every last paragraph to Mr Mocha Rhumba. And it went from peaceful gratitude to extreme hatred. LOL. And no, I am not in love with this sick bugger. He sms-ed me at 1.46am in the morning telling me that I am SIAO! Stupid squid. Although, I was slightly cheered up la. Whatever.~
I tried to discover a little something
to make me sweeter
Oh baby refrain from
breaking my heart
I'm so in love with you
:) Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 11:49 PM on
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Choc fondue. Hrmmmmmmm.... Definitely very filling. Bought the size that serves two- me and the krazie Hoonie. The set includes a pot of melted Belgian chocolate, chocolate chip cookie ice-cream, strawberry ice-cream, banana ice-cream, bananas, strawberries, green apples and chopped up nuts. It may seem a little, but gosh! I was so damn full! Dinner was unnecessary. Choc Fondue WAS dinner itself. Haha. However, me and Hoonie agreed that the set could have been made much more exciting or something. And certainly something has got to be done about the customer service there. Anyway~~ Maxbrenner's next!
:) I love and hate weekends. Why? Because U & I are off. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 5:33 PM on
Tension. Tension.. tension... presumations.. assumptions... arhh.. next time people... don't know, please ask... dont bodoh sombong. (Malay proverb that means someone who does not know but refuse to ask, pretending to be a know-it-all, but is actually wrong) Haha~.
Flash News~. I am currently in Hoon's house, waiting for her to decide what she is going to wear. Goodness, it is as if she is going out with her boyfriend. So...... fickle-minded~ Changed clothes thrice already. Hahahahaha~ We are going to have our Choc Fondue.. and walk around Bugis Village. Hrm. I think I need this break la~ Since the Wednesday, I have not been doing myself much favors.
Envy. Haha. Weirdly, when Mr Mocha Rhumba told me that he received a packet of cookies on his worktable, from a girl.. I felt jealous? Haha. I am just happy for my buddy. Whatever makes him happy, makes me happy. I have to be more kind hearted towards the irritating pest. The stupid bugger need someone to keep him discplined. Lol.
:) Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 11:56 PM on
Friday, March 11, 2005
Ask, dont assume. Sometimes, you just have to ask. Wait.. not sometimes.. do ask when in doubt. Never assume. And then kill yourself with whatever negative thoughts that get churned out from that assumption.
Warmongers. The arguments are getting more intense. More hurtful words are flying around. Insults getting more offensive. Ideas keep getting more misunderstood. Facial expressions can be triggers for arguments. A slight pepper of vulgarity can be the icing on the cake. What the..
Faithful buddy. Mr Mocha Rhumba. How he shows he hates me and cares at the same time.. I dont know. And I am learning to do the same. It is odd how both of us are starting to talk in each other's language and lingo. I noticed this because my other friends called and I talked like how I talked to the bugger. How I hate him man. Argh! But then, why not. 300 smses within 5 days- and counting. A quarter of my usual monthly sms usage on an enemy! A stupid bugger!Goodness. And he has been calling to irritate the shit out of me. We are both creatively stupid people, I guess. *shrugs*
:) dont ever wanna lose u, buddy. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 7:41 PM on
It's too sweet to last. Certain things pass by your Life, give you the quickest adrenaline rush ever. That sugar rush you need and then they just continue passing on by. Or you have it in your hands but then it is not yours. But then you already knew that but it still sort of sucks to face it. One of the mud face-packs of Life.
Am my own homie. Decided to do some home-work today. Went to the polyclinic. And you know how much I despise doctors- both private and polyclinic. But today, for once in the longest time, the doctor and me shared a laugh about.... shampoo. Yeah. Oddness huh.
The Roomy Affair. I am going to clean up my room. The War we all know as FP has left too much rubbles and debris in my used to be clean room. It almost... almost got to the point where even my bed cannot be seen from an innocent birdeye's view. I just recalled that there is a funfair near the Central! Wee. Probably after cleaning the carcasses in my room, I shall head to fill up my tummy tummy. Hehe~
:) I cant wait for Sunday! Training resumes! Yay! Tomorrow.. Saturday... I hope Hoonie actually finally decide to go Choc Fondue with me. Too much postponement gets on my nerves. Dont want to go then should have said so~ Sighs. 4 more projects to clear and I am done with the bloody semester!~
No longer going crazy. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 9:36 PM on
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Psychoeducational. Ahh... what we learn in CD textbooks is redundant. The real psychoeducational model is like Ed finally convincing me to get the Nike skirt because it is versatile- I can use it for training, and to just go out. :) Suku-na lah dey!
Which Reminds Me. Suku-Na actually made me stand in front of over 100 students to answer some stupid crap questions about sibling stress. I answered everything quite easily, and YET she seem to still want to find fault with me. See lah. Kwang asam la dey~
Rhumba Mama! Yay. I found myself a crap buddy. And when I mean crap, I mean "crap". Not the "crab" that most Singaporeans speaking Singlish mean. Kwang kwang kwang. (thanks to AST classes) Who else la duh~ Mr Mocha R. My personal Squeedy. We simply HATE each other. Really. Imagine, within 96 hours, you send 250 SMSes and 13 emails daily to each other. Crazy right? And the SMSes contained nothing but purely major insults to insult each other and to catch each other off guard. It's a war. And duh. I will obviously win. All I need is patience! Kwang kwang kwang. Alah~ Layankan je lah ni satu anak kan kan kan. Although I hate this stupid bugger called Mr Mocha Rhumba, I have to just say this la... (lucky he doesnt read my blog).. this stupidy Squid is actually bloody smart la! The only one so far who can challenge me. The only reason why we can continuously torture each other is because the standards of wits are just there la~ Stupid bugger. Bah! Yeah. Whine whine whine is all I do! But this is my blog kan kan kan!!!
:)
So faithful my warring buddy. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 7:00 PM on
Monday, March 07, 2005
... that I ever felt this way. Is during the O levels period. The I-studied-too-hard-for-my-own-good period. Yeah. Was studying too hard that led me to this state that I am in right now? I don't know. Argh. Destiny? Maybe. The raw exhaustion. Like uncooked meat. Or festering wound. Fuhh.
... that I had a good sleep. Is like.. I cannot even remember! Oh, maybe when I was sick last week. I actually managed to sleep well, and that is only because my body just sort of succumbed to it. Kwang kwang kwang.
... that I feel so young... is about now! Among my new found friends... Mr Mocha Rhumba! Gosh. Seriously. Every guy friend I have makes me look and feel forward into the future. To be more grown up and stuffs. But Mr Mocha Rhumba... haha.. he's the one who sent me those flowers anyway. And.. whenever I talk to him, I am transported back into the time when I live in Bedok? I feel so young.. so innocent.. so new... unhurt.. seriously. The days of crushes, when everything was just blissful and no economic downfalls or lack of retail therapy can disturb my peace. Time is slowly moving backward in that direction. I think that's pretty cool. Weeeee!!!~
Just 2 more days.
9th March.
10.15am.
When it's over......... Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 4:30 PM on
Yeah. Being up at such a time is no big deal. I have gone through a record of three days without sleep. It is nothing to be proud of. You look stupid with or without makeup on, when you dont have enough sleep. I am up, because I am rechecking my referencing, to see if I have done it properly. This is stupid la. Come to think of it, why would Sukuna want to see it anyway? Okay lah. It's ethics. Whatever. Whatever!!! But being up at this time today just means that I will not be able to sleep until after Wednesday. Because I will have no time to sleep already now all the way til up to later tonight and then later tonight, I have to edit and recheck my SYC project. FP really took up my time. Time doing and time worrying and time doing both. Fuck. Sorry, I just had to say that.
Crap shit. I am feeling so out of sorts. Funnily enough... I actually feel irritated with myself for leaving my room in a complete mess. And soon, the bed will really be under a pile of mess. And soon, I will not even be able to find the bed in my own room. Fuck. I will redecorate my room when this whole fuck is over. And clean, scrub.. redesign.. whatever!! I nearly burst into tears. Feel like complete crap. And I actually took some time to at least put everything in the clear first.
Oh and apparently doodle is no longer available free. U have to pay now. Bleah. Whatever. Alternatives, alternatives.
Mr Mocha Rhumba couldnt even make me laugh.
Ah well. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 3:11 PM on
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Yeah, that Usher song. Bleah. Seems like everyone around me is like falling in love, having a crush, etc. Yeah, thanks for reminding me of the so unhappening phase of my Life right now. :)
*sniggers* My neighbour's in love, my talk cock buddy is like cacing panas (a malay proverb which means cannot stand/sit still due to various factors)- the guy kept asking me tips la, my good friend is like ooooohh-la-la.. and many more to mention. And even on radio, dedications from secret admirers. Fuh. What's up man? Crazy people. =p
But again, who cares. Field Practicum keeps me busy. Hell, Field Practicum keeps anyone busy. :p OooOoOh... tomorrow is Edwina's birthday. For the first time, we are celebrating in a more up way. Hehehe. okay, gillian is staring at the screen now. *stupidy!* We are eating at Pastamania! Yay! This has got to BE the BETTER meal in weeks man. BK nearly every weekend is like bleurgh. I think the manager can recognize us as well. WAHAHAHAHHA! Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 2:47 AM on
Walking contradictions. Ever since I was in primary school, it has always been one of my beliefs that one should not hate because one will grow to love. And increasingly over the 2 decades of my Life, that belief is reinforced over and over again. For instance, I have always moaned about eating vegetables. For nearly 20 years! And this year, I began loving them. And the color white- it has always been my mortal enemy. White is just too risky, too plain. But over the past two months, ever since I was stuck with my white hp, increasingly I ventured into the white world. I bought white shirts, white watch, and heck! I even own 2 white belts now. The biggest example would be one of my team players whom I am on better than average terms now used to be someone I despise in secondary school. See what I mean? So, keep your minds open.
Pained for a.. while. 2am. I finally had the courage to look through my Msn contacts... staring at that one particular nickname. I was staring at it that I was so shocked when the person came online all of a sudden. I kept quiet for a while. He im-ed me first. Asking for forgiveness. I told him.. I hurt because of his false friendship, but I had learnt to forgive him, long before he even asked. But I guess he could not face his own guilt- it ate him up too much. He was so guilty of the hurt he had caused me, due to his own selfishness, recklessness, impulsiveness. I was surprised that I am handling the matter much cooler than he is. I guess he could not believe how civil I was. Am. Lol. Oddly, I could not breathe properly the whole short time we chatted.
But it's okay. Hope and CheerUp are with me. Thanks, Mr Mocha Rhumba. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 4:10 AM on
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
At this point. I am barely hanging in there. Finally the crunch of the crunch of all of the times is here. And it is... nerve-wrecking. It appears in my mind at night when I sleep. And in my head all the time when I am out and about in the day. At this time, (record time: 3.56am), I am waiting for hotmail to upload all my files. And just as when I need it, it's moving at a turtle pace. Argh!
Human kindness. I did some of my fp materials yesterday. And a garland of thanks to Ross, who came over to my place, after work hours to help me cut, color and paste. And it was all done out of sincerity. Lucky Ross was there, coz with this huge pain in my head, I wont even have had half of it done. Thanks thanks thanks~~~~~ Gosh. I cannot wait for supervision to be over. I planned a choc fondue treat at Esplanade (!!!) with a friend to celebrate the unleash of my tormented soul and body on the 9th of March. Throw in a bit of retail therapy wont hurt either. Hehe.
Love. While doing the fp materials with Ross for company, we talked about Love. Although Ross had hurt from previous experiences, the belief that love is the sweetest thing around is still kept close to the heart. That is cool. I think love is bittersweet. But as for me, if I were to ever consider the world of romance again, I aspire to fall in love with someone like H. 'Nuff said. *winks*
Now back to being a choo-choo train. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 3:43 AM on
It is approximately 3 am in the morning right now. I just got home.. and I am not exactly in the best of moods although.. yes, I enjoyed myself thoroughly during fishing. Me, Hoon, Gill and her bf, Kiat.. had a nice time. Between us, we caught about 20 fishes. I guess the tide brought in the selar kunings mostly.. But I caught a pretty fish to mark off the fishing night. Gillian caught the most fishes.. and even Hoonie enjoyed herself!! Double surprise! She was happily chatting away.. and managed to catch a fish too. We had fun talking about things, because the setting of the serene sea after the rain was just beautiful. And when you put friends in such places, you tend to share good rounds of laughter.
There are more things I wish to blog.. as I said.. unless a certain problem is solved, I will not be at ease.. or have the slightest peace of mind. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 12:19 AM on
OOps. I haven't been blogging.
OOoOps. I haven't stopped living.
OoOooOops. Life is at its trying point.
OoOoOoOoOoOops... too much hiccups. *toasts*
CheErs!
(A nonsensical entry from a nonsensical person in her nonsensical mood)
*burp* Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
