At 6:18 AM on
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
it has been said that thinking about something is ten times more stressful than actually doing it. and i usually think about something ten times. now, perhaps that explains my bouts of dizziness- seeing my room spin 180 degrees, no matter how much i willed myself to see straight.
been thinking a lot lately. really thinking. i think that Life is speeding away so fast, passing us without giving heed to much red lights. it's like an expressway now. and that scares me. like people are taking degrees so that they are ahead of the pack; is that the best reason to take a degree? or because it is just the next logical step? i don't know. people live way too fast for their own good; missing the whole point about living Life. hrmmm.
i give up looking at my pc. i need to have a good shut-eye.
au revoir~. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 1:34 AM on
Sunday, October 29, 2006
actual optimal state of health of human beings in general. if there was a vote whether to ban cigarettes completely, i would be the first- and i would even send in about 1000 more votes.
but this disastrous addiction actually rakes in money for all countries- smokers scrimp and save to purchase that last stick. so perhaps this is where the importance of keeping the sales come in. though i totally disagree.
i can never breathe in the presence of cigarette smoke. i get restless, agitated and more importantly, i get breathless. i feel choked. and yet inconsiderate smokers just puffed away happily around me- even some of my family members do this. i abhor this.
i don't get it at times- when smokers turn inconsiderate. if they wish to take the direct route to Death, why drag along other people who are non-smokers- sensitive non-smokers, at that? worst still, some of these non-smokers may even be their own children, their wives, parents and so on. this untactful nature of smokers make me feel like snatching those cigarette sticks and poke their eyes with them. urrghhh.
and i don't apologize for typing this entry, suppose if there are any smokers coming across it. point is; go far far away from us non-smokers. give us our right to live- and breathe. thank goodness for the latest governmental effort.
Alhamdullilah.
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 11:10 PM on
Saturday, October 28, 2006
nearly fainted at compasspoint yesterday. *haha* *shakes head*
all that nasty shock aside, im really taken aback at the fact that Daniel is going away in 2 weeks!- just at the same time as i'm leaving too. well, whatever his next plan is, i am sure that he will do great!
saw The End @ Borders. but i don't like to buy books, as i read way too fast to absorb the full value of my money invested. haha~ and so i have been logging onto the library website everyday- i think it will be on the shelves only in November. *sigh*
The Prestige! I want to watch! I wonder why these two are always coupled together lately. hrmm~ *ponders*
Two most beautiful things of the day;
1) Time spent with Daniel and Elizabeth. All those stupid jokes. Ha-ha. You would think it was a bunch of children giggling guiltily. I dig wit.
2) Alfred.
Annyeonghi kyeseyo!
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 10:59 PM on
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
waddup. going to work today felt ultimately surreal. there was almost no transition from my laidback 5 work-free days to a full work day. it also did not help that prior to waking up for work, i had a dream which was completely medieval in nature. in fact, my dreams lately are pretty medieval. it is odd, because it was bizarre to be virtually living in the 1880s and waking up to 2006. because of that, i am now nursing a bad headache.
as an aside; i found this:
"What puts the chick in chick lit? The heroine is either looking for Mr. Right or getting over Mr. Wrong. She's in a dead-end job or is looking to climb the corporate ladder. She often works in public relations, advertising or for a women's magazine. The tone is often light and funny. The story usually is told in the first person. By novel's end, the heroine usually has worked out all her problems and has learned important lessons about life."
Haha. so so so true. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 2:55 PM on
I still don't like webcams
true enough. i have always questioned the use and necessity of webcams since its first creation. it seems to be only mostly useful for chatters- even then, what is the point of looking at someone looking at the screen to type his replies? so, i never am interested in purchasing webcams. but since this lappie of mine came with a webcam, naturally i have to explore the functions yeah?
i think it is pretty cool although a little impractical. video calling is so much better!^^
the delicate balance of my scales have altered slightly. a few days ago, i had felt so broken. it was pretty bad then. but now, it is all good. :)
i made some delays in plans, postponement of others and created some more.
i guess i should not feel so beaten up about my life journey. i should be thankful of the fact that i know where i am going (do i?) even though they may be just some semblance of ideas.
so it is all good now. from now til the next time i feel broken again, i shall keep these gathered thoughts in mind. (such is the vicious cycle of life.)
in any case, i look enthusiastically forward to next year! :)
Annyeonghi Kyeseyo! Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 11:55 PM on
Sunday, October 22, 2006
*cheer!* it is Hari Raya tomorrow!
the fasting month, like any other month, flies far too fast.
and we move on to the next day, the next week, the next month.
the next year.
i wish at times, we are allowed to slow and still certain moments in our lives.
to ponder at length the beauty of a single moment, or that period of time.
Silence is the sea, and speech is like the river.
The sea is seeking you: don't seek the river.
Don't turn your head away from the signs offered by the sea.
to my Muslim friends, Selamat Hari Raya.
Hope your fasting month had been a fulfilling and victorious one. :) Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 7:28 AM on
my brain is on hiatus right now, but it also refuses to hibernate.
it refused me that great favor.
it is excruciating to yawn.
it is torturous to have this watery pair of eyes.
it is absolutely murder, feeling like i am hanging by a thread.
i want to sleep!
i am now swinging between notbeingabletosleepbutcannotdoworkbecausemybrainisinactive
and wantingtodoworkbuttheentirebeingisrefusingtocooperate. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 7:22 AM on
Saturday, October 21, 2006
This ...
... Game"
Ah. Alas. I have something to wear for Hari Raya. Finally took the time to shop for something-even if that includes being in complete perjury for 2 hours. Imagine standing in almost still air with a little over a hundred other persons surrounding you. Nauseating? I almost threw up.
But that ordeal is over!
Had chicken karaage bento set for break-fast. :) Have been fully resting since Friday night- 5 and a half workLESS days! *cheers!*
Excuse me now while I prepare a pot of caffeinated liquid. Drama marathon coming up. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 7:40 AM on
Thursday, October 19, 2006
... Sudoku
Sudoku..."
why the gingercakes am i stuck on sudoku now? i was just talking about it with a good friend of mine two nights ago when i decided to download the software. and i became addicted to the game already, moving from the easy level to the medium- i dare not try the hard level as yet. it is funny to be addicted to sudoku - if you look at it from a helicopter point of view, this game is really about the logic of numbers. but then again, that is the beauty of it. a logic game of numbers 1-9 and yet there are almost infinite possibilities of number placements! sheesh^.
this is such an unnecessary statement but i think i am beginning to like some korean dramas. hrmmm~. it's like they can be pretty sappy but not too sappy that it might get too emotional but yet it can touch certain parts of your heart without compromising your previously withheld beliefs on some issues- and having cleancut looking actors with pretty hair never hurts the eyes of viewers too. :)
hehehe. time for a dvd- hunt. *sheepish* Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 10:38 PM on
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
When your heart is dark as iron,
steadily polish yourself
that the heart may become a mirror,
a beautiful shine reflecting from within.
Although iron is dark and dismal,
polishing clears the darkness away. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 7:27 AM on
halted Anna Karenina for a while- hey! that book is worth over 1000 pages okay!- and read Confucius instead. *haha* really, laugh at that. Confucius. i remember making fun of that old guy. me and my friends would come up with stupid lines such as.. "in order to get over the mountain, you have to... get over the mountain" with very solemn faces. *haha*
so well, Confucius, in not so many words- alot actually, changed my mind about him in just about an hour. i was honestly amazed at how deep his thinking went into- and when i was questioning a line he just stated, my question was answered in the next chapter. cool, huh?
two beautiful things;
1) Confucius -honestly.
2) W H telling A, "I won't let you scold her!" (her, meaning me) sweet. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 8:04 AM on
Monday, October 16, 2006
Anna Karenina keeps me awake at night, of late. This Russian classic is truly something. The themes and the feelings that the characters go through seemed modern, despite its aristocratic background. :D something else is keeping me awake as well; this Duracell bunny inside me- for some reason it hops all day and almost all night. i get restless when i am resting. strange.
There may be more than two beautiful things today;
1) a classmate whose command of English is impeccable, actually asked me, "Were you an English major? Did you take literature?" For some reason those questions made me happy. alas my college education proved itself useful in the long run. then again, i have always been a literature baby. words speak to me.
2) giving a talk on public speaking without using my notes at all. i had contemplated using my notecards, but then i went ahhh just do it without those cards. i managed to engage my audience anyway. the trick? talk to the audience on their terms. :)
3) having one or two of my students telling me "I love you" in earnest. and you just know that those words can't possibly be a form of deception.
4) satisfying my rare craving for Pepsi. (shite, how many spoonfuls of sugar were there?)
5) being on top of things for now (thanks to the Duracell bunny inside)
6) the mind maps that my brain beautifully conjure when i was in the train
Boogie! Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 7:15 AM on
Sunday, October 15, 2006
hello.
*waves happily, jumping up and down, throwing a bit of confetti in the air.*
haha. the joy of a phone call.
it may not mean much in the long run, but for a while, the significance of that call
carved a smile on my hardened face.
two beautiful things of my day:
1) that call.
2) completing 85% of my work. :]
hurray hurray! Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 2:01 AM on
Saturday, October 14, 2006
*waves* hello! i am actually sick. quite weak and listless. however i just can't seem to rest. i would turn to the right and arrange my library books. then i turn to the left and arrange my work-to-do in order. so i give up. i get up. and hopefully get some work done, tire myself out and rest by obligation.
during one book review presentation, a classmate said this, "you can be whoever you want to be in your Life, but without love, you are nobody." Corrections. i don't think you can be just anybody you want to be because without hard work and all that jazz, being the somebody you wish to be will be just a reality in your head. the human being is perfectly able to adapt and accomodate their wants to their needs. a normal person will not want to be lonely; and he thinks Love is the answer to end his loneliness. politically correct; but some people tear themselves apart for Love. i have seen "true love" and true love. i have no qualms with the latter but i also know, that occurence takes up probably 10% of the entire human population. even people who already married have their regrets. deep in their souls, lurk statements such as if only had given that other guy a chance instead or if only i had waited a little bit longer before getting engaged. therefore i question the whole authencity of Love.
ahh.. two beautiful things in my day;
1) stationary shopping with mother
2) knowing within myself that things will work out on its own
someday Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 6:52 AM on
Friday, October 13, 2006
oh hello. realised i didnt blog yesterday. probably because i was far too relaxed and i was also too lazy to take my laptop out. point being is in a fit of rebelliousness, i have ceased to do any work reports as of wednesday night, after my class. *haha* and today, i set a record of watching teevee from evening til 11pm. *throw confetti everywhere* yeay!
onwards, i have also since discovered a feeling worst than having your heart broken (which of course can happen due to many reasons like the death of a pet hamster, the killing of a cockroach, etc).
that feeling is sluggish.
erggggggggggghh.
though i do find it odd that i am feeling sluggish when i can swear that all my work and travelling done in a week are eating away at me. no, im not complaining. im just whining. honestly.
and today is Friday. and usually it would mean pretty. today it meant abrupt and undesired repulse-inducing shift. which is probably why i never really did notice that it is Friday today.
all those aside, the two beautiful things;1) not doing any work and perfectly not worried.
2) having a wonderful break-fast feast.
and now back to slacking.
i only hope this sluggish feeling dissolve soon. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 8:06 AM on
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
But I was hardly there for him...
the plan was to get home after classes, continue my reports and sleep feeling satisfied. but after everything that has happened today, i think the best plan is; get home after class, forget about the reports and sleep feeling equally satisfied. :]
at noon, i received a call. under normal circumstances, the call would be sending me jumping up and down in whoops of pure unadulterated joy.
but under my circumstance, my heart sank.
anyways, i am going to call it an early night.
but before that, two beautiful things in my day;
1) finally borrowing Anna Karenina and then happily discovering the novel contains 1002 pages- possibly a bit more. i have done nearly 800 plus so I am sure pushing it a little further won't be half bad.
2) a close friend saying this, "it is very important to me that you feel okay." thanks darl. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 10:31 AM on
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
eventually there is this need to blog. the need to pen (type, rather) thoughts that belong to me- for me- not others. done with about half the load of reports- don't worry... there's MORE!
i have been surviving (not that well, i must say) on 4 hour sleeps daily. reading, typing, thinking,
analyzing... and all that jazz! i think there is this half-mad look on my face now- i won't be surprised.
i have come to realize that i work well with classical music or bossa nova. thanks, maks. *haha*
now it is time to sleep because it is 2 minutes away from the start of my 4 hour sleep.
but first, the two beautiful things of my day:
1) completing half the stack of reports
2) stationary shopping
most times, we are the best enemies of ourselves Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 8:24 AM on
Monday, October 09, 2006
I was logging into my blogspot last night when I was attracted to this Blog Note- Three Beautiful Things. Basically the author of the blog noted the three beautiful things that she had experienced daily- and I think that is very essential in all of our lives too. Much too often, we let our days pass without us once reflecting on them- too busy chasing the big dreams, and letting the small achievements, fade into the yesterdays.
So I feel that I want to try do the same. Think about my day and note two beautiful things that take place in my Life. So here goes:-
1) Eating a tuna sandwich for my dinner.
2) Borrowing A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon- he's also the writer who wrote The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 12:05 AM on
my work is neverending. the process of one work and the other is only separated by Time and Space- but that does not mean i will not take my time out during lunch to nap! wahahahahaha!!!
amidst my nap today, however, i was rudely awoken (as long as someone stir me from my sleepy stupor, it is rude) by one of my colleagues who said, "We can go in for the talk now." so imagine me- in my absolutely sleepy stupor- "talk? what talk?" was ringing in my head but nevertheless, i went into the room.
"hello ah. we are people from this non-profit organization ah who do research ah on depression ah. we have machines ah to test whether you are having high stress level ah..."
im sorry. it's just that when a bunch (trio) of people come in to give a talk- i thought it would be so natural for them to speak normal English- their language need not be superior- but she was happily peppering "ahh" all over her talk.
and the test she administered made use of this shock machine. i put my hands on this silver object and then i felt this strong electric jolt through my hands. i instantly pulled away. so i said, "its okay. i dont want to go through with this." and my friend did it. and its like in front of everyone she said, "your blood circulation not good ah. you must exercise." that's acceptable, i feel.
then her comments to another friend: "wah. that means ar your head shot already ah. must see us in the clinic." [what the hey!!]
but whatever- i finished my chronicles of Narnia - although its just the first 3 parts- it's well over 700 pages! *winks*now, back to the studio. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 11:14 PM on
Saturday, October 07, 2006
yesterday-because i was ultimately restless by the fact that my book has not arrived yet- i borrowed the Chronicles of Narnia. it was not until i got home that i realised the book only covered the first three parts- 4 more to go. sigh. as yet again, the book is much better than the movie. although i have to agree the director of the movie has made a rather successful summary of the entire chronicle. :}
one of my close friends actually did some readup as to why my gastric attacks had become so severe- my overconsumption of tea. oh wells. even though tea is generally better than coffee, but overconsumption can eat away at the intestinal walls. hrmmm~ i guess back to Evian now. haaa~.
this week must be the meeting of old friends. *winks* boy, i am so tired of typing away already. been up since morning finishing up documentations. anyway, last Friday i was appointed the Documentation Consultant. it is really funny- in fact in my head i was chuckling out loud. to me, it is just a matter of effort and creativity- the willingness to be creative. funny.
one more album to go! Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 3:15 PM on
Friday, October 06, 2006
6.13am. feeling the need to sleep. but can't. the mind is cluttered, the heart disappointed. at times, no matter what, we can't all be Superman. at this moment, i do wish, however, that in the library, there is a book that has all the solutions and answers to all universal questions. but that, just like a human flying with his hands, is a remote impossibility.
which brings me to the next point. my reading has slowed down for a while because of the various other obligations i am required to fulfil- at this point, i wish i have an extra set of detachable hands. but that, as yet again, is a remote impossibility.
[and oh, don't worry. the Reunion went fine. expectedly. were you hoping it won't? *lol*]
Saturday! my favorite day.
i feel sleepy now. *yawn* Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 9:36 AM on
Next mission: *dirge of cerberus*. a costly affair, this would be indefinitely. but all for love. *haha*
the haze is really bad today. on the road, it was like we were driving through a big melting dry ice. and the haze is really getting to my eyes. i hope it all clears away very soon. the fire in whichever country that is, must be really bad because i can see the haze hanging right outside my window. *yeay* :/
i realized i have to work on that part of the plan soon. because my worst nightmare is evolving into a form of reality.
and this weekend and the 7 weekends to come are going to be completely nut-house. journals, documentations, lesson planning, research, reviews, talks, chorale speaking... anymore? as if my experience being institutionalized hasn't seen enough of those nutty moments.
java chips, someone? Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 9:44 AM on
Thursday, October 05, 2006
i am running on autopilot mode of late.
i hope to be able to grab one or two venti javachip frappucinos or black forest ice blended along the way.
hurray for the return of the Phantom.
theatrical love never dies.
but when will my croatian hero ever return.... sigh.
that love, too, cannot die.
this tale that is neverending
whimsical fantasies
pregnant with your pretending
swirling in layers
colors so opaque
your words too bold
but its meaning way vague
in this tale that is
endlessly spinning
perhaps it is merely us
that is coming
to an
ending. Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
At 9:59 AM on
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
They said she couldn't dance
Nicky and her one pronged stance
Nicky and her two left feet
Nicky who couldn't count her beats
And the One she counted on
Was not the one she could rely on
She bought a white glittery dress
It made her feel oh so pretty
It made her feel oh so princessy
But he said
It will soon lie in a heap on the floor
It makes you like you were four
Pages flew
Years crept slowly by
Nicky in her white glittery dress
She need not dress to impress
Every move she made surpassed the best
No other word could put that to
a test
He stood up
Clapped along with the ovation
With tears in his eyes
He said
"I am so proud of you."
She smiles and say
The One who laughed
Wasn't it you?
Love,
Lady under the Invisibility Cloak*
